Managing Resistance in Adult Learners

Scene 1:Waist length hair flying about his head as he shakes it vehemently, standing at the entrance to my prison classroom waving his “call out” to come to my class he shouts, “I’m NOT in this class, I don’t know why I’m on the list. I DON’T WANT to be in this class (both of us knowing that a “call out” in prison means you are there whether you want to be or not, at least for the length of that first class, because anywhere else you go will mean you are in an unauthorized area and at risk of being unceremoniously escorted to “segregation” if caught someplace else).

Scene 2: Same prison classroom, different student, exasperated with waiting his turn for my help calls out across the classroom, “Tracy, do you KNOW what I’m “in” for? If you did, you wouldn’t be keeping me waiting, you’d be afraid and over here helping me right NOW!”

Scene 3: A roomful of parents in a homeless shelter, slumped in their chairs avoiding eye contact with me, some resting heads on the table in front of them, some yawning, one especially spirited woman, arms folded across her chest, jaw set, lips drawn, shaking her head vigorously from side to side, her body language screams, “You are so WRONG!” while I present Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to an unbelievably disconnected audience.

Scene 4: 20 bright, capable, mature (over 40) women in a graduate school class are working in teams on presentations they will make after lunch. I have divided the theoretical approaches to our subject matter between them, each team taking on the responsibility for sharing their assigned theory in a reciprocal teaching activity. I invite them to break for lunch with the announcement that presentations will start when we return when one small team, avoiding eye contact with me, submits to their self-identified leader who lifts her chin, sticks our her lower lip and practically hisses at me, “We aren’t ready, we reviewed my paper during the prep time instead, we don’t and won’t have a presentation to give on our theory.”

So what do you do when your best prevention efforts fall short and you come face-to-face with in your face resistant or provocative behavior from adults in a training/teaching situation? Well, here are some things I’ve tried that have gotten me out of "oh noooo" situations and kept the training or teaching on track.

Breathe and live the mantra- EVERYTHING is curriculum: When behavior like the above is happening, it isn’t just you and the person exhibiting the behavior, it is everyone in the room who is holding their breath, attention riveted, to find out how you will respond. Whatever you do, it needs to model the curriculum or at least the principles embedded in the curriculum you are teaching. It doesn’t matter what you teach, surely embedded in most content are elements of prudence, wisdom, discernment, taking a higher road, creativity, humor, reframing, coaching, problem solving, trouble shooting, barrier removing, relationship, self-esteem, self-efficacy and teamwork. How you respond to provocative behavior is a teachable moment on wide-screen, surround sound, living color. It is the perfect moment to practice what you teach. Think through the principles that drive or support your content and plan ways to respond to provocative, resistant or challenging behavior that are real-life illustrations of the principles and practices of your content in action.

Create opportunities for a better choice and saving face: Everyone melts down sometime, either because it is the last straw in a bad day or because they don’t have the skills to meet their needs in less provocative ways. Find a way to call a “do over,” make an offer with your limit attached and then create space for the other person to pull themselves together. If you can create a way they can save face, they will generally realize their first reaction wasn’t the best and they will tend to soften if you support them in saving face and setting the stage for a turn around that looks like it resulted from their reconsideration rather than a strong arm tactic by you. You can do this by saying (after you state your need or expectation) “Take a few minutes and let me know what you’d like to do.”

Balance face-saving offers with staying in charge of your classroom or training room: Often, provocative behavior directed at you comes from someone everyone else has grown weary of enduring and they WANT you to end their suffering and protect their learning experience. It is a delicate balance but you must take charge so that one or two outspoken folks aren’t holding the rest of the group or the learning process hostage. Often this can be accomplished by validating feelings and needs while setting limits on behavior.

Practice good self-care and spend time with colleagues who can support you: Validating feelings and needs while setting limits on behavior takes finesse, lots of practice, along with opportunities to debrief with mentors and colleagues who’ve had similar experiences and who can coach you. Spending time with others in a Community of Practice can refresh you, give you new strategies for recurring problems, and help you better manage disruptive, provocative behavior that allows you to model in practice what you teach.

Next time: These suggestions implemented and the real-life endings to the stories above.