Managing an Angry Outburst in a Prison Class

Here’s the ending to the 2nd, challenging scenario. All names have been changed. You can return to the post titled principles and strategies of managing challenging behavior that this story illustrates.
Scene 2: Same prison classroom, different student, exasperated with waiting his turn for my help calls out across the classroom, “Tracy, do you KNOW what I’m “in” for? If you did, you wouldn’t be keeping me waiting, you’d be afraid and over here helping me right NOW!”

When you say something like that in a classroom in a medium security men’s facility everyone freezes with eyes wide and breath held, pencils in mid-air, waiting to see what you will do. The only thing missing is the schoolyard rallying cry of “FIGHT!”

With 10 pairs of eyes burning holes in my back, I interrupt the assistance I’m giving one Dad to turn around and address the verbal bomb launched by the exceedingly young 25 year old miffed at being kept waiting. Doing my best to ignore the fact that this outburst and my not-yet spoken response is the center of the most exciting that’s happened to these gentlemen all week (or maybe longer), I draw in my breath and say, “Joshua, we have spent six weeks in this class and in that time I have seen you learn and use many effective interpersonal skills.” “I have?” he says, voice going up in question while the 10 pairs of eyes follow his voice. “You have,” I reply, eyes following mine, the scene beginning to feel like a tennis match. “And,” I add, “I have full confidence that you will be able to use those skills, right now, to take good care of yourself while you wait your turn for my attention.” “You do?” voice still trailing upward in question he asks thoughtfully as he considers his capability (eyes turning back to him). “I do indeed,” I respond, eyes following me. Silence. “Oh,” he says, the upward trailing quality gone from his response, replaced by a matter-of-fact, “Okay…yes, I do…have those skills….,” he adds, turning back around, bluster gone, adding, “What are you guys lookin’ at?” which effectively breaks the spell informing us all that the crisis has been averted as everyone busies himself to return to what he was doing. I finish with the first Dad then make my way to Joshua. Making no reference to our exchange I ask, “So what’s up Joshua, how can I help?”

That was half-way through our twelve-week class. At week twelve, he came racing into class one afternoon, skidded to a stop in front of me and with great soberness said, “Tracy, I’ve been thinking.” “Hmmm?” I ask as casually as possible. “Yeah, I signed up for this class because I wanted to learn how to make my 3 year old and 5 year old mind me. But I don’t think that’s what it is about.” “Really, what do you think it’s about Josh?” “Well,” he says, excitement mixing with thoughtfulness, “I think it is about me doing my parent job so that my kids reach their potential. What do you think?” Well, I wanted to do a tap dance right there, right now! But having a young male adult son, I am well practiced in tempering my response, wanting him (and now Joshua) to fully enjoy his own discoveries. I am aware however of the parallel between his confidence in his children’s capability and my confidence in his some six weeks earlier, so I use all of my self-control to contain my elation in order to honor his and say, “That’s really thought-provoking Joshua. I think you have really hit the nail on the head. Would you be willing to share that at check-in with your colleagues when we start today?” “Sure,” he grins as he heads off to his seat.