Seeing at 35,000 Feet

I'm hurtling through space at 35,000 feet on my way to work with a client on a curriculum design project. As I peer out the airplane window it seems that much like the clouds that obscure my view of the ground below, it is sometimes hard to see the impact of the work I do as an instructional designer, coach and trainer. With nose pressed against glass, hoping for a glimpse of some indication of where we might be, I notice that in either situation, going so long without visual confirmation does make me wonder if we are getting any place at all.


In a similar conversation with my husband last night (he is a leadership coach and consultant), when I wondered out loud if the work we do really matters if busy, distracted clients overlook "turnaround" deadlines, miss meetings and call apologetically sometime after you've already paid a king's ransom for parking and cooled your heels waiting for them, forgotten your weekly check in calls, or fallen off the face of email earth, he replied with hushed but obvious delight, "Oh but the impact of being a teacher, a coach, or consultant is so powerful." As he placed both hands on either side of my head to gently demonstrate his point he added, "Sometimes our role is to simply point someone's head in the right direction and say, Did you see that? Hmm, so what do you think?" Then turning my face back to his he added smiling, "And then be ready to respond when your injection takes hold!"

I wish I had the patience to think like him. Maybe he is even right. In my work I often encounter resistance, which I've learned to roll with, only to have those very resistors circle back a few days later to ask me for exactly what I offered them that triggered their resistance in the first place. I say nothing about the change of heart, and simply say, "Sure I'll send that your way," all the while wondering what could account for the change. Did I have anything to do with it? Wasn't it their change of mind? Did  I do anything that mattered? Did I just point their head in the right direction and ask, "So what do you think?" and then wait for the injection to take hold?

Or how about a tense call with a fully defended client that makes me break out in a cold sweat while they tell me all the reasons they can't do what I need them to do so that I can do what they hired me to do!? These are the times I long for a predictable job driving the airport shuttle between economy parking and the terminal. You go the same way every time, and it is always exactly where it should be when you get there, no discussion required. These are the calls where I gently say the hard things, resisting the victim-persecutor-rescuer triangle with all my might, stay the course,while still making clear statements of "what is" or "what needs to be" to move the project forward. More than once a call like this has been followed by a cheery email thanking me for my guidance and patience. What happened? Are they just feeling better? Did anything I say or do matter? Or is it the head turning + question injection taking hold?

Captain says we are in our final descent. We've broken through the clouds and for this moment I can see for what seems like forever. I will do what I came to do, trust the process, and know that change comes rarely with ease, more often in fits and starts, and sometimes requires full on reverse thrusters accompanied by brief but heart pounding ground bouncing and screeching tires to get the job done.